7 Parenting Tips From An FBI's Top Hostage Negotiator

Good morning, this is your sensei dojo to being a mutant ninja dad (abnormal powers). Each week we COWABUNGA thru sewers of dadding advice to find you one perfect pizza slice.

🍕This week's slice is about coaching: 7 Parenting Tips From An FBI Top Hostage Negotiator🍕

7 Parenting Tips From An FBI Top Hostage Negotiator

The blog post here has the parenting backstory that caused me to read a book about negotiating with terrorist.

Now one of my top 5 business book Chris Voss, former FBI Top International Hostage Negotiator, wrote ‘Never Split the Difference’ about his experience negotiating with international terrorists and bank robbers.

As an FBI hostage negotiator he had to WIN every time.

How did he do it?

Empathy.

Chris defines empathy as:

“paying attention to another human being, asking what they are feeling, and making a commitment to understanding their world.”

Here is what I learned that has changed my parenting style for ever.

My takeaway from Chris Voss’s book (I give a real life example in the blog post of how I put it to work):

• If Empathy can work with terrorists and bank robbers, it can work with anyone, in any situation, especially dadding.

• Slow things down by engaging my counterpart in the problem solving by asking how and what questions

• Label emotions and mirror. When people feel heard and understood they feel a connection which builds trust.

• Tone, it is more important how I say something than what I say. Use late night FM DJ voice or playful voice (even in tense situations).

• Try not to let my emotions get into the discussion. Pause, for myself and deep breath to reset.

What I Read This Week (1 funny tweet):

Other Radical Dadding Topics:

Connecting: Why You Need To Invent Your Own Rituals

Self-Care: Meditation: Yes, You Can Do It With Your Whiskey Nightcap

P.S. Cowabunga, Dude!