Essential trait your kids need from you

Hey oh, Dynasty Dad here! Collecting dadding gems like those ‘89 Donruss ‘Rated Rookie cards.

This week’s gem: 💎Essential Trait Your Kids Need From You💎

Dad Meme and Joke Of The Week

Meme

Compliments of TheDad on Instagram.  

Joke

“When one door closes, another one opens” -Boeing

Essential trait your kids need from you

Me: “Hey whatcha doing?”

Neighbor: “just moving stuff, I feel like that's all I do as a parent…move stuff”

He’s right, since becoming a dad, I feel like I’m just a mover of things. Most days consist of just moving stuff.

Moving leaves.

Moving legos.

Moving dishes

Moving clothes.

Moving lawn toys.

Moving dirty diapers.

Moving money from savings to checking.

Moving kids to and from school and activities.

It's not glorious…actually it sucks most of the time.

It got me thinking…is this what my life is resigned to…moving things?

I found hope in a recent podcast with Dr. Becky Kennedy, a parenting guru and child psyche doctor, in which she discussed the primary role of parents.

Although my days feel like moving, Dr. Kennedy states that the most important role of a parent is to be unmoving.

Her research shows that our job as a parent is to be a sturdy leader.

She defines a sturdy leader as “being connected to yourself while connecting to someone else at the same time.”

Our kids.

For us dads being a sturdy leader means three things:

1/ Set boundaries

Boundaries that allow us dads the space to connect with ourselves and keep our kids safe.

She makes this statement about how a true boundary (versus a request) requires our kids to do nothing.

I struggled with this for a moment until she used this example.

How many times have you told your kids, “After this show, the TV needs to go off.” Most likely, our kids won’t just turn off the TV and say, “Thanks, dad.”

The action is for us dads to take. And shut the TV off for our kids.

In our house, this usually means my kids combust into a crying convulsion.

This leads to her next characteristic of a sturdy leader.

2/ Acknowledge their emotions

Yep, it might seem irrational that they would cry, kick, and scream about something we were clear on, but as Dr. Kennedy notes, when we enforce boundaries, it is the child’s responsibility to express their emotions.

It is our responsibility as fathers to acknowledge, “Hey, you are angry that I turned the TV off because you wanted to keep watching.”

According to Dr. Kennedy, this is a critical step because kids (particularly young kids) aren’t mature enough to understand or handle their emotions.

And by us dads acknowledging our kids’ emotions, we help our kids better understand their own emotions and help them “feel real and feel connected.”

3/ Do it with empathy

Finally, the last characteristic of a sturdy leader is to do it with empathy.

By assuming that our kids are inherently good and just need to feel heard and receive a response that oozes with empathy.

Instead of serving up my usual short, cold, and terse “I said no more TV!”

So if you’re like me and you spend all day moving shit, I’m going to stop, zoom out and focus on the unmoving, sturdiness my kids need to thrive.

This Week's Interesting Thing:

A great quote I heard this week.

We don't grow old. When we cease to grow, we become old. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

As I turned 44 this year, I realized that age is a number. And I’ve also learned so much more in the last year than I feel I’ve learned in the last 43.

I firmly believe that learning is growing, and I can either accept that I’ve learned almost all that I will have learned (fixed mindset), or I can continue to learn new things (growth mindset) that can help my family, my finances, and my personal development.

Here’s to growing, not growing old. And to the excitement that the most inspiring decades of our lives are yet to come.

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