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Feeling alone

Feeling alone

May 30, 2023

Hey oh, Dynasty Dad, here. Like Memorial Day, we’re the unofficial start to your week (nothing really happens on Mondays, right?).

This week's kickoff: It Can Feel Lonely Being A Dad

Dad Meme and Joke Of The Week

Dad Meme

Dad Joke

Of all the inventions over the last 100 years,

The dry-erase board is the most remarkable.

It Can Feel Lonely Being A Dad

Dads, have you ever felt weirdly alone, even though a loving wife and kids surround you?

My wife and I spend the whole day in the same house, we often feel like ships passing in the night.

Barely having the time or energy even to say hi.

I’ve only seen my best friend, who also has two kids, once in the last 6 months.

And I WFH.

It has made my daily routine feel like a grind.

My tank felt empty.

I felt lonely.

If you feel this, you’re not alone (no pun intended).

The good thing is that other dudes like you and I are looking to connect.

There isn’t a prescription but more of a set of practical things I found that work.

Here are the 4 doable ways I found to fix the loneliness of being a dad.

1/ Start with self-care.

I start by feeding myself.

To connect with others, I found it crucial to start by connecting with myself.

For me waking up early so I get an hour of quiet time and then an hour at the gym.

I come home refreshed and ready for the day.

It feeds me and gives me the energy to connect with my kids, my buds and my wife.

This plays into my next point.

2/ Connect with my wife

Sometimes the key to breaking out of my loneliness funk is starting with the relationship closest to me.

My wife.

I make it a priority to connect.

I found a simple daily email with three things; 1) why I’m grateful for her, 2) what my schedule is for the day and 3) something I’m excited (or need) to talk to her about later that evening.

This gives us a reason to connect in the evening even when we are both exhausted from the day.

We make sure to acknowledge and celebrate even a short, 15 min, convo.

This builds the connection momentum.

3/ Turn on the cab light.

Having kids has thrust me into a new phase of life. And some of my friends that were friends before are not in the same phase of life.

So what do I do:

Well, find new friends.

Sheeeshh. You might say, “easier said than done.”

As I get older, it gets harder to make new friends.

But for me, it was more of a mindset shift.

When I was helping my gf (now wife) move, I discovered in her stuff a book called “Turn On Your Cab Light.”

It turns out she was reading it when she met me.

And the summary is we have to be open to new relationships to find new relationships.

That cab light looks like taking a class in something I’m interested in.

And joining a group with a shared goal (fitness class).

The key is finding places and activities where there are several people with the same interests or similar goals.

Usually, these are related to hobbies, or wellness or religion.

This leads to my fourth and final point.

4/ A guys' weekend.

Every year I plan an annual guys' weekend. This includes my dad and his buddies and a few of my buds.

We look forward to it like Christmas.

It's on the calendar for the same weekend every year.

We do this around Trout Opener (a shared interest).

By making it a year in advance, it is easier to get coverage from our wives.

It also tends to entertain us throughout the year in our group chat as we find humor in the shenanigans from the previous year’s trip.

How have you battled the loneliness of being a dad?

This Week's Interesting Thing:

Murph: The Protector.

This past Friday my gym did a mini-Murph.

I had heard of it before but I didn’t know the history.

So I did a little research and found this short video about a Memorial Day tradition called the Murph.

Being a Dad is tough! Dynasty Dad makes it a little easier.

Forward this email to another dad who could use tools that make dadding a little less stressful.

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