How To Start Taking Time For Yourself

Good morning, here's your bite-sized guide to raising kids who summit their potential. Each week we hike up mountains of research to find one peak piece that you can easily stake your flag in.

🏔️This week's peak piece: Self-Care and How To Take Time For Yourself 🏔️

How To Start Taking Time For Yourself (Even If You Feel Guilty About It)

The cycle: we are slammed with work, kept perpetually busy with our kids and trying our best to get adequate sleep.

In all of this, we allow self-care to fall into the “I’ll take care of that later” category.

The problem: we feel burned out, irritated and generally stretched thin.

We might act out at ourselves, at work, or worse, at our families.

The dilemma: we do not have time for ourselves.

What we tell ourselves: I am going to start taking some time for myself soon.

The science: in a meta-analysis (not Facebook Meta) of 111 studies, scientists found a strong correlation between mental well-being and work performance.

What this means: by neglecting your self-care, you are hurting your productivity, perpetuating the cycle of burnout.

Change Your Perception Of Self-Care

DEFINITELY self-care

With media, we are shown one ideal of self-care: Green-juice in the morning, yoga, meditation, etc…

While all of this stuff can be good(here is our guide to meditation),

This isn’t the only way!

Actually, there isn’t a single way.

For this newsletter, our definition of self-care is any activity that invigorates you, calms you, or leaves you feeling recharged.

Abandon All-Or-Nothing Thinking

All-or-Nothing thinking is how we got here:

I don't have the energy to go for a run, so I won’t do anything physical.

I can’t sit still for 20 minutes, so I won’t try to meditate at all.

I don’t have time to read a book, so I’ll just doomscroll Facebook.

The Solution: Integration

If you find yourself thinking like this, check yo’self!

The biggest mistake with All-or-Nothing thinking is the way it sets up self-care as being distinct from your “normal” life.

In reality, the most sustainable way to change your life, and make a real change, is to slowly integrate self-care into your life.

If All-or-Nothing dad says “I don’t have time to read AND exercise, so I’ll just do nothing”.

We say: “To start reading, I am going to start listening to audiobooks while I take a jog”.

Another example: riding my bike invigorates me. Even though I don’t have time to go on a two-hour ride, I am going to make an effort to take a 15-minute ride each night.

Your Homework

If the science confirms that there is a correlation between self-care and work performance, you are in fact harming your productivity by not making time.

If we defined self-care as anything that invigorates, calms, or leaves you feeling recharged, that leaves the field open for you to try it.

Our challenge: Each day this week, do one daily small & meaningful act of self-care.

There is no time constraint: 5 minutes each day is infinitely better than 0 minutes each day.

You deserve it.

So does your family.

If you aren’t taking care of yourself, you aren’t fully able to take care of your family.

Without self-care, you are not operating at your fullest potential.

What I Watched This Week (1 interesting article):

• The Science of Gratitude & How to Build a Gratitude Practice (1.5hr PodDr. Andrew Huberman / Stanford). The tweet highlight below:

From the other two pillars of Radical Dadding:

Coaching: Let'em Fight; Why Kids That Learn Conflict Thrive

Connecting: How To Be The Present Dad Your Kids Deserve