I wish these existed

Hey oh, Dynasty Dad here. Each week we scavenge through the overgrown backyard of the internet to find you one easter egg chocked full of dadding goodies.

🥚This week's easter egg: I Wish These Existed: Things That Would Make Being A Dad A Little Bit Easier 🥚

Dad Meme and Joke Of The Week

Dad Meme

Dad Joke

Why did the Easter egg hide?

Because it was a little chicken!

I Wish These Existed

I wish these existed.

I would pay a small fortune.

Being a dad can be tough.

After a Spring Break vacation filled with carting, loading, wiping, and carrying three kids...

It got me thinking (ok fantasizing) about things that would make life as a dad…

just a wee bit easier.

Here are the 12 things I wish existed as a dad of 3 kids under 5.

1/ “Magnetic onesie”

A baby onesie that clasps shut like a magnetic screen door.

As soon as you pull those little baby legs and arms through the sleeves…

The magnet does the rest and snaps that baby shut.

2/ “Blowout-proof diaper”

How many times has a baby blowout tipped your day into chaos (it always happens at the most inopportune time)?

We need diapers that are impervious to a blowout (catch all the poop no matter what)

What a world it would be if things were blowout free.

3/ “The Slap Diaper”

A diaper that works like one of those slap bracelets.

As soon as that baby bottom lands near, it just snaps on.

No more diaper wrestling.

4/ “Toddler translator”

I’m convinced toddlers are from another planet.

And my inability to understand their language usually ends in toddler rage.

What if a translator could tell us, dads, exactly what our little aliens want?

5/ “Slime-Resistant Shirt”

I lost count of how many times I peeked in the mirror and I looked like Venkman from Ghostbusters.

My shirt covered in snot or spit up.

I need a shirt where the upper half is like Teflon, nothing sticks to it…

That would totally transform my daily appearance.

6/ “Undo button” 

Oh man, I’ve been saved so many times by Ctrl-Z (undo) on a computer.

What if life with kids had an undo button?

I would use it like Michael Scott overuses “that’s what she said”.

7/ “Pause Button”

You’re in the trenches changing a diaper and putting out a few fires.

You just need 15 minutes to pull yourself together.

It would be great if life had a 15-minute pause button where my kids would stop and I could pull myself together and soak it up…just 15 minutes.

8/ “Buddy button”

Sometimes I need a rip cord to stop the free fall and find a fellow war hero (a buddy) to share my stories of the trenches with.

It would be great if there were an SOS app that could find another buddy that at that moment was also ready to get away.

9/ “Sleep dust”

Yes, there is melatonin (and whiskey) but they have negative long-term side effects when used as sleep aids.

I would love some dust (a pan) I could slam (sprinkle) my 2-year-old with at bedtime so she would…

To steal a line from Adam Mansbach “Go the F⚪k to sleep”.

10/ “Nighttime Nanny”

I call my middle a werewolf.

Every time there is a full moon (or a moon in any phase) she creeps into our room for the umpteenth time and needs to be walked back to bed.

After these long nights, I wake up feeling like a drank a case of beer.

It would be great if someone or something could walk my little werewolf back to bed, tuck her in so I could get some dreamy sleep.

11/ “Remote Relocator”

If you’re like our family, we limit TV for our kids but they crave it like addicts.

So many times, we’ve hidden the remote like a squirrel, and couldn’t remember which hole in the yard it was in.

All we need is a remote that is equipped with an “I’m here” function so we could find it when we needed it.

12/ "Self-Cleaning Car"

Our van looks like an Atlantic City beach; covered in sand, wrappers, and old discarded toys.

It would be great to have a car that can automatically clean itself inside and out,

so I don’t feel guilty about my wife's daily trip with the Jersey Shore.

My takeaway:

If only these things existed, they would make dadding a little easier.

And I would pay a small fortune.

Tinkerers, inventors, and entrepreneurs, let me know if you come up with any of these.

Dads, what did I miss?

Dads with older kids, are there inventions I will need as my kids age?

This Week's Interesting Read:

The most pivotal invention in human history is here!

ChatGPT and generative AI (robots creating original work).

The change we will experience will be so radical...

I'm considering taking a few days off of work to experiment with the new tools that are popping up like new influencers on tiktok.

Tools that can write music, create videos, build websites, recommend a specific travel experience and then book the trip.

This is only the beginning.

In the spirit of future-proofing our kids, I plan on writing more about what AI means for our kids, their future and fun ways to learn about AI. This newsletter shares the hottest trending AI tools.

I've been experimenting with:

• DimeADozen (tells you where or not your idea is a good one)

• 10Web (AI website creator)

• PromptPerfect (help me step up my prompt game)

BONUS: I watched this video of a guy who wrote a song that Kayne rapped (AI Kayne).

Other Dynasty Dad Topics:

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P.S. This week's newsletter is dedicated to my strong, capable and brave Stelle Belle Ballerina. My little Werewolf turns 3 years old today. I love you.